Navigating the ‘Anti Therapy’ State of Victoria – Advice from a Parent
By Anonymous Victorian Parent
As a parent dissenting from the ‘affirmation’ model, finding neutral psychological support for a gender distressed child in Victoria is incredibly stressful, and a hard and lonely task. Our current state government is zealous in its support for the ‘affirmation’ model to the point of religious fervour, doing little to raise awareness of what is actually possible since the introduction of the Change and Suppression Practices Prohibition Act (CSP Act) in 2021.
Every conversation with a potential therapist is difficult, trying to carefully pick words to ask for their attitude to the neutral support they seem to be too scared to offer. The underground group of like-minded parents I have met is invaluable for support, as openly questioning the affirmation approach feels risky. We have all become experts, consumed with understanding the complexity our children are facing, desperate to ease their distress and equip them with enough insight to make considered decisions they won’t regret.
Between us we share many stories of the devastating impact of the laws supposed to help children like ours. The therapists no longer available to work with young people, too scared to work under the threat of being reported. The uncertainty and stress of engaging with a new practitioner, desperately trying to read their approach without being able to ask. The frustration of finding a specialist with all the right skills and experience, only to see their website festooned with the flags and pronouns of unwitting allegiance to affirmation. The white hot anger on realising a counsellor has lied and affirmed when they said they would be neutral.
So, for a parent with reservations about the ‘affirmative’ approach, my advice for finding mental health support would be to become a confident advocate for what is possible. I am not a lawyer and this does not constitute legal advice, but I am an expert in my own child and I refuse to be intimidated into not having thoughtful and respectful conversations. Through trial and error and my own experiences navigating several mental health service providers, both affirmative and exploratory, I’d offer the following.
The first step to negotiating support for a minor with gender distress in the context of states with ‘anti-conversion therapy’ laws is to understand the detail of what is and what is not considered an offence. Parents need to know that they can talk to their children.
Secondary to that is determining what a potential practitioner understands they are permitted to do. In Victoria, many practitioners appear to be unclear on the legislation detail and regardless of being ‘affirmative’ or not, have absorbed the idea that they can only affirm a stated gender identity. For this reason, many now choose not to work with gender distressed youth. The challenge is then to find a practitioner who understands the detail of the law and is confident to work within it.
The CSP Act 2021 states that a practice or conduct is NOT a change or suppression practice if it is supportive of or affirms a person’s gender identity or sexual orientation, which in itself, is somewhat contradictory. For a teenager struggling with feelings of same sex attraction and seeing gender identity as a possible solution, enthusiastic support for a new identity could well be argued to be suppressing their sexual orientation.
The really interesting points however, are not widely communicated but well worth noting. In the context of being supportive of sexual orientation OR gender identity, the CSP Act goes on to allow for:
“providing acceptance, support or understanding of a person; or facilitating a person’s coping skills, social support or identity exploration and development”.
Further,
“a practice or conduct of a health service provider that is, in their reasonable professional judgement, necessary to provide a health service”,
is also permitted. Likewise, health practitioners are permitted to comply with their legal or professional obligations.
These exemptions and qualifications are not communicated by either the Victorian Government or the Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission, the body tasked with administering the Act. It is difficult not to believe their silence on these aspects is intentional and fuelled by the desire to see affirmation as the only option available, perhaps with the encouragement and guidance of activist lobby groups.
For parents trying to navigate the minefield and find a health provider for their child, it’s worth researching potential practitioner’s websites for information suggesting their approach. Practitioners with stated pronouns or statements supportive of affirmation are unlikely to be supportive of an exploratory approach or understand the difference between exploration and affirmation or conversion therapy.
A phone conversation with any practitioner prior to making a booking and providing some background information will help provide context. Advising that gender distress is part of the presentation and that you are seeking an approach that will work for all of you is not unreasonable, nor against the law. Given the current climate it’s better to be upfront and allow a practitioner the option of declining if they are not comfortable. It is also not unreasonable, nor against the law to state concerns with the affirmative approach, particularly if there are complex factors contributing to the distress.
Advising that you are seeking an approach aligned with your own that is neutral, exploratory and willing to understand and consider the contributing factors lets a practitioner know where you stand. Ask if they are comfortable providing that. Ask about their experience dealing with gender distressed youth and any other relevant factors such as autism, trauma etc. An experienced practitioner will understand that the factors are complex and there is scope to explore all aspects without making a focus of gender.
Ask about their preferences for individual and family therapy. A good practitioner will also encourage joint family therapy on a regular basis to promote understanding and communication within the family unit.
Ask about their approach to affirming names and pronouns. This can be a bit of a grey area as a practitioner also needs to build rapport and not alienate a young client, however a confident practitioner will find ways to subtly avoid affirmation, generally by avoiding names and pronouns. In a one-on-one face to face situation, this is largely manageable.
Asking these questions should make it possible to get a feel for the practitioner’s approach and if they are likely to be compatible. It also allows the practitioner to assess if they are comfortable and confident in providing their services.
Should it have to be this difficult and fraught to navigate health support for our distressed children? For a cohort our politicians love to describe as ‘the most marginalised, the most vulnerable’, they have done little to support them or ease their pain.
My anger is reserved for the clueless bureaucrats who in the spirit of ‘be kind’ have crafted unworkable ‘anti conversion therapy’ legislation. Reasonable concessions made to ensure their passage into law are buried, and the intent is twisted with deceit to scare and confuse parents and practitioners alike into believing they will be prosecuted for daring to question a confused and vulnerable adolescent. What has been created is the exact opposite of the support the law makers profess to want and while their virtue signalling shines bright, our children wither in the shadows and we do what we can, alone.
Image credit: John Simmons, Pexels.
Genspect publishes a variety of authors with different perspectives. Any opinions expressed in this article are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect Genspect’s official position.